College is HARD

a letter to myself (?)

So yeah, the title tells you what life has been like for me and every other college-going student. It’s hard, it’s annoying, you consider dropping out at least once, and cry a lot, eat and sleep either very less or a lot. You can never do just one thing at a time. While writing this, I’m actually also working on an assignment, a research project and studying. You are never doing just one thing at a time. Weekends are either just sleep or no sleep. Either this or that, either treat yourself to a moment of peace or.. not. Okay, no wonder my immunity has gone down real bad.

But, despite all of this, there are some moments of stillness that I look forward to, some pretty strange. The quiet corners of college that I like to escape to before exams, the classes in which my mind blocks out everything else, the few times I betray tea and drink coffee in the canteen, the time i waste taking random pictures, and some other silly things like that. Sometimes, maybe once a month (?), I feel like dressing up. I put on a lil makeup, dance around while choosing clothes and shoes and feel happy. It’s my final year now. Sure, I’ll definitely have other challenges to take up and other annoying things to endure, but these strange little pockets of happiness won’t be the same somewhere else. College is hard, but unknowingly you find a special ‘your place’, your thing, or maybe you won’t. But it’s a lot of time in one place to not be able to find something that is yours. So basically, this post is me trying to tell myself to record those moments and write about them more.

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What spirituality means to me.

Now, I know I'm not really qualified to write about being spiritual, and, 
really, what 17 year old is? And I really don't want to piss off the 
spiritual teachers and leaders around the world. But I've been winging 
everything in my life for a long time, so why not keep up  the streak? 
And to quote something I've seen online, "Never resist an impulse, Sabrina,
 especially if it's terrible."

Continue reading “What spirituality means to me.”